Come on Forbes, don’t botch a King of Pop Article!

The story: The Scandalously Boring Truth About Michael Jackson’s Will (forbes.com 8-17-12)

The mistakes: “Michael’s first child—Prince Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., born on in February—is mentioned by name… ”

“Others have confirmed that the King of Pop was in the Big Apple that day.”

The Copy Vigilante says:  A big beer company once ran a “born on” ad campaign where they bragged about the freshness of their beer. The editor who worked on this story must have had a few at lunch because he/she couldn’t figure out if the article should get Prince’s precise birth date or just the month. As for the hyperlink, the editor forgot to underline “Big” and make it a link to NYC. Although something tells me their “editing” software decided to make this just a link to the company Apple. Hey Forbes, turn Hal off now!

 

Forbes, of all sites, can’t afford better editing than this?!

The story: Now Spain Circles the Drain (Forbes.com 5-26-12)

The mistake: Much of the news about the impending doom of the eurozone concentrates upon Greece: but Greece has never really been the problem. It’s 2% (and falling) of eurozone GDP, it leaving and defaulting will be expensive but not fatal to anything other than the idea of ever closer union within the European Union.

The Copy Vigilante says: Huh? I don’t even know where to begin with this awful sentence. First of all an “and” is needed between “GDP,” and “it” and it also desperately needs to be broken into two sentences. Although I don’t know if that could save the part about not being fatal “to anything other than…” Actually it is fatal all right, to decent writing and editing everywhere!